Here are some funny mom stories of readers, which will make you laugh and even say, that’s happened to you too.
Mom on Gardening
I can’t tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion. So when it came time to fix up my garden, I had no clue which plants to keep and which ones to remove. Until, that is, my mother gave me this handy tip: “Pull them all up. If it comes back, it’s a weed.” —Cy Coggins
An Anti-Smoking PSA
A couple of hours into a visit with my mother she noticed I hadn’t lit up a cigarette once. “Are you trying to kick the habit?” “No,” I replied, “I’ve got a cold and I can’t smoke when I’m not feeling well.” “You know,” she observed, “you’d probably live longer if you were sick more often.” —Ian A. Hammel
Her Native Tongue
Although I am of Chinese descent, I never really learned to speak Chinese. One evening, I came home boasting about a wonderful meal I’d had in Chinatown. I couldn’t remember the name of the restaurant, but wrote down the Chinese character on the door to show to my mother. “Do you know what it says?” Mom asked with a smile. “It says ‘Pull.’” —Barbara Mao
Lots of Love … or Laughing Out Loud?
“I’ll miss you, Great-Grandma,” wrote my mother’s great-grandson in an email before shipping out to Iraq. “I’ll miss you too, dear,” she responded. “Stay safe. LOL, Great-Grandma.” Poor Mom didn’t realize that LOL doesn’t stand for “lots of love.” —Jeanne Hendrickson
Leave a Message After the Beep
My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting by a phone that never rings. “Mom, I call all the time,” I said. “If you had an answering machine, you’d know.” Soon after, my brother installed one for her. When I called the next time, I got her machine: “If you are a salesperson, press one. If you’re a friend, press two. If you’re my daughter who never calls, press 911 because the shock will probably give me a heart attack.” —Susan Starace Balducci
I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake. “Hi!” It was my peppy mother-in-law. She proceeded to rattle on about the busy day she had ahead and all the things that awaited her the rest of the week. “Mom,” I interrupted. “It’s five in the morning.” “Really? What are you doing up so early?” —Roseanne Sorcinelli
The Escort Service
My mother began getting calls from men who misdialed the similar number of an escort service. Mom, who had had her number for years, asked the telephone company to change the organization’s number. They refused. The calls kept coming day and night. Finally, Mom began telling the gentlemen who called that the company had gone out of business. Within a week, the escort service voluntarily changed its number. —Marian Burgess
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