Here is Will and Guy’s collection of short stories with a humorous and festive theme.
The Saga of the Christmas Loser
Late home after a night out, a youngster attempted to climb into his home down the chimney. He did not to want to wake other residents in the Judson Center social services agency; also he had broken his curfew and wanted no trouble.
In best Santa Claus mode he climbed onto the roof and let himself down the chimney; unfortunately he was too large, and he became stuck. The 17 year old began moaning and was heard and rescued. Fire fighters and police officers from the City of Royal Oak, Michigan, USA, had to pull him out. The youth suffered from minor scrapes and bruises.
Yarn of the Seat in Stand
Freddie and John were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Chelsea. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (B14) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together.
One half-time Freddie went to the ticket office and asked if they could by buy the season ticket for B14. The official said that unfortunately the ticket had been sold. Nevertheless, week after week the seat was still empty.
Then on Boxing day, much to Freddie and Eddie’s amazement the seat was taken for the first time that season. John could not resist asking the newcomer, ‘Where have you been all season’. Don’t ask he said, the wife bought the season ticket back last summer, and kept it for a surprise Christmas present.
Try Before You Buy!
Myra was going to the Christmas office party but needed a new party dress.
In the clothing store she asked, ‘May I try on that dress in the window, please?’
‘Certainly not, madam,’ responded the salesgirl, ‘You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.’
Mirror Image – Christmas Fable
On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be’
Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, ‘How about some perfume?’ She showed him a bottle costing £75. [$150USD]
‘Too expensive,’ muttered Nathan.
The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for £50. ‘Oh dear,’ Nathan groused, ‘still far too much.’
Growing rather annoyed at Nathan’s meanness, the sales girl brought out a tiny £10 bottle and offered it to him.
Nathan became really agitated, ‘What I mean’, he whined, ‘is I’d like to see something really cheap.’
So the sales girl handed him a mirror.
An Amusing and True Funny Story At Christmas
A seven-year-old boy was stopped by police in northern Germany while trying to plough snow with a front loader he borrowed from his parents’ business, authorities have told Will and Guy. Officers on patrol found the boy atop the 3.5-meter-tall [11.5-foot-tall] excavator after he had cleared the street in the town of Reinfeld and was driving back to the parking lot. The child noticed the police car behind him and stopped immediately.
‘He opened the door, got out and admitted immediately that he did not have a driving licence,’ the police report said. When asked why he had begun ploughing, he said his father had complained about the state of the roads. He saw the key in the ignition of the vehicle and set off.
Police retrieved the key to the loader from the child and returned it, and the boy, to his mother.
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